The words flow with the booze.

I have seen many movies representing writers so distant and sullen, with a stiff drink in hand and an unkempt appearance. I'm not much of a writer, yet I have been feeling that way. Milling over stagnant thoughts looking for inspiration to make the next manifestation flow forth from the depths of some dark mysterious universal source like a radiant chthonic hologram that oozes rather then shines through the minds eye. All the while tuning out the ticking time, objects, staged actions that other people are so wrapped up in they believe its is a pure reality without question.

I have to question, everything, all the time. A myth or metaphor might bring you closer but at some point you have to feel and experience the truth. At first it's scary, perhaps bitter, sadness can pervade ones mood in the early stages of lifting the veil... Then it's a quick slide into madness, perhaps a feeling of frenzy. That's when the self medication comes in. Lubricating the channel from subconscious to the hands, perhaps bypassing the filters of conditioning of appropriateness, of the politically correct. By any means necessary.

As I sip my wine, not really taking into account why the fermented fruits of mother earth should have such an effect on our processing of her mysteries, I still do no think of myself as a writer. I do however realize that when the spirits are flowing, the words begin to develop shape around the intangible, the indescribable, that feeling that lurches and twitches inside. The gasp for air, and the drive that carries you through the worst pains and the roughest days. Our carelessly forgotten collective exhalation.

20 hours

My attempts to explain myself to the people and the world around me get distorted. Something I miss about creating art is that my materials and I would have a conversation, and what I had to show was the result. It was always fueled by research, something I'm having a habit of doing again.

In a TED talk I watched recently a researcher presented his calculation of how many hours of practice it takes to learn something. The result was 20 hours.  This inspired me to begin charting my progress in various areas I have been working on. One of these is sign language, another video editing. 

I will have some work to show for it very soon.

Thank you light of day.

While driving home from work I had sudden inspiration. I had to seize the moment, no more pining over the days when manifestation was easy just because I wanted to create, there was no other alternative to living the dream.  I didn't feel limited by the time and money to which I am currently indentured. This sparked a glimmer of excitement, and I realized I could make a haiku, then I made two.

Can't speak your language

Money, slavery and lies

Lost in translation

Open your third eye

The real recognizes real

Find the truth in the lies

Finally I have stopped feeling the need to communicate and be heard by other people. It's been a failed experiment. My art and I have wonderful conversations, together gaining a deeper understanding of the world.

Becoming Insane

There are many who would say I have been crazy a long time. I would frequently be inclined to agree. Preferring not to make the distinction between insanity and genius. Much of my art and research have been devoted to this phenomenon. The intuitive entrance into the sacred mysteries. As I meditate and learn more about source, about becoming myself,  I've also reconnected with a part of me that once carried a strong sense of purpose. During this recent transformation I have fell out of touch with the people currently in my life. I have withdrawn in order to evolve a little further in mind and spirit.

In the last couple months if I go a day or two without meditation, I fail to maintain my composure and make myself out to appear stark raving mad. Sure, the ridiculous social constructs we live in are ever more inappropriate and madness is better than compliance, but that doesn't make it feel any less like a fault. The conditioning must be burned out by any means necessary. To pursue my destiny properly I need to make major changes in my life.

To continue down the path of devotion to living the dream, I must practice daily raising my vibrations to a higher dimension. Stop allowing emotions, the words and actions of others, and the tides of the universe to impact me in a stressful and erratic manner. It would be preferable to get in sync with the subtle energies of my ethereal self.

"The truth is the mortal enemy of the lie' Joseph Gobles

"When we have logic we are able to question what we are told and more importantly reject those who are shown to be liars."

The mention of it in this video reminded me the biggest problem with our current education system is missing the foundation of the Trivium. More near and dear to me then this is the Quadrivium

"The Quadrivium (plural: quadrivia[1]) are the four subjects, or arts, taught after teaching the trivium. The word is Latin, meaning "the four ways" (or a "place where four roads meet"),[2] and its use for the four subjects has been attributed to Boethius or Cassiodorus in the 6th century.[3][4] Together, the trivium and the quadrivium comprised the seven liberal arts (based on thinking skills),[5] as opposed to the practical arts (such as medicine and architecture). The quadrivium consisted of arithmetic, geometry, music, and astronomy. These followed the preparatory work of the trivium made up of grammar, logic, and rhetoric. In turn, the quadrivium was considered preparatory work for the serious study of philosophy (sometimes called the "liberal art par excellence")[citation needed] and theology. The word "trivia" has been rarely used to refer to the trivium.[1]" -wikipedia

How can we advance beyond these if we can't even provide everyone the most basic of education. When I was a teenager I saw the world as sheep, and I felt hate, then got a little older and I felt pity and then indifference during some dark times. Now rather then have an emotional reaction, I think, how can I change this? What affect can I have? That is the mission that I am on in life. To advance my own knowledge and to transmit clues to entice the curious to question everything and think for themselves.

Yes, all of that.

Snagged from Free Will Astrology

The oracle below is excerpted from the book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them," wrote novelist Margaret Atwood. "There ought to be as many for love."

Here are a few that the ancient Greeks devised, according to Lindsay Swope in her review of Richard Idemon's book Through the Looking Glass.

Epithemia is the basic need to touch and be touched. Our closest approximation is "horniness," though epithemia is not so much a sexual feeling as a sensual one.

Philia is friendship. It includes the need to admire and respect your friends as a reflection of yourself—like in high school, where you want to hang out with the cool kids because that means you're cool too.

Eros isn't sexual in the way we usually think, but is more about the emotional gratification that comes from merging souls.

Agape is a mature, utterly free expression of love that has no possessiveness. It means wanting the best for another person even if it doesn't advance your self-interest

Static in my Head

Long ago in my teenage years I felt like I was not tuned into the world, there was static in my head. This led to a lot of disrupted communication both out and in. It fueled quite a few art pieces and made me feel very connected to music from artists who felt the same.
In light of my search for the truth and attempts to enhance my focus, awareness and memory I've been practicing tuning in to my breathe, to a book, to a thought I want to commit to memory with grand visualizations. To discover by tuning into experience the idea I am considering.
All of this made a thought materialize this morning. I always felt out of communication with the world because I am meant to tune in to other frequencies. I think we are about to change our frequencies and its a good idea to be prepared.

For most of my life I have been interested in madness, in that which lies beyond reason, the mysteries of existence. I think this is where our source is, from which knowledge and artistry and spiritual evolution springs forth and filters through us. It is a driving force in my creative vision and has led me to study philosophy, mathematics, and more in an effort to manifest a way to communicate the importance and necessity of chaos to balance structure and generate movement and change. 

How does this related to sacred geometry and that which is beyond the veil of our current spectrum of perspective? Well that is the present venture.